End of Service Conference

This weekend was the WorldTeach End of Service Conference in Otjiwarango.
Both the Semester and Year-Long volunteers came, so I got to meet all of the
year-longs in different regions of the country.

As usual, it was fabulous to get to speak at full-speed, and as you can
imagine there was a fair amount of venting that went on.

I was amazed at what some of the volunteers have been able to accomplish
since last December. It was most helpful though to hear that *everyone* has
had a very challenging time here, testing the limits of their patience and
character. Plus, most of us can't really say "it's been an amazing
experience...as in fun." We all say, "Yes, it's been an amazing experience,
but it's been fricken hard!" Honestly I would've thought I was doing
something wrong if the majority of the volunteers had said otherwise.

Awards were doled out at our celebratory dinner. I got something like
"Divundu's MacGuyver". As I aspire to be MacGuyver, I was thrilled.

I came home on Sunday to find that we were without water, electricity and
cell service, until about 8:30 that night. Then I discovered another burner
has been ruined on the hotplate. We're down to 2. It wasn't the best of
homecomings, particularly after 8 hours on the road with no AC. TIA.

And then they were gone

Yesterday was the Grade 10's last examination, and one by one, as they
finished the test, they walked out and that was that. Some of them looked
at me and smiled and said goodbye. Others didn't even glance my way. A few
lingered to have a little bit longer of an exchange, but all in all, it was
just the end.

When I was in school I felt a connection with most of my teachers, and
always made sure to say goodbye at the end of the year. But I suppose there
were a whole bunch of students who just left. I feel bad for all teachers
everywhere that have to feel this way every year.

I'm requesting that their results be mailed to me in December. My guess is
that around 15 out of 57 will get promoted to Grade 11. Man I hope it's at
least that.

Resolution

Thanks to all who gently chimed in on my dilemma over here. It was very
good to hear that I'm not a total jerk for wanting to leave to travel. And,
I remembered some old advice I used to give myself (and others). When I
look back on this in a few years, which am I going to regret more: not
staying or not going? And the answer is, not going. Fact of the matter is
I'm not likely to be back in this area ever again. (I mean sure, I *might*
be back, but probably not and certainly not in this general phase of my
life.) If I don't take some time for myself, I'm going to feel a little
cheated and possibly a bit of resentment.

Though I'd like to think my presence is critical around here, that simply
isn't true. Being here for the exam and marking it might make a very
marginal difference, but I think I (and they) can live without it.

All this being said, I'm still holding out a shred of hope that the
scheduling was a mistake, as Rachel's principal seems to think. I doubt it,
but one can dream.

Heartfelt Thanks

On behalf of Divundu Combined School, I'm putting out a huge and heartfelt
thanks to the students and staff of William Adams Middle School for their
proactive kindness and generosity.

Several weeks ago I put up the pictures of the conditions here at Divundu
Combined, what it's like for the learners here. Many classes at William
Adams were shown the pictures. All on their own I'm told, the students
wanted to do something to help their fellow, albeit distant, learners. For
a couple of weeks they along with some teachers brought in school supplies
to donate. They filled two boxes totaling 23 lbs., and the principal Mrs.
Munoz (my former 2nd grade teacher!) authorized the payment of the shipping
cost from the school.

It's really easy to get discouraged over here, day-to-day, but events like
this serve to remind you that compassion and generosity is alive and well.
You guys rock!

Inner Turmoil

I got some unfortunate news on Friday. The end of the year exam schedule
was announced.

Normally Math and Physical Science happen quite early in the timetable. So,
I was planning on being finished with the school around Nov 26 or 27. I'd
started mapping out a travel itinerary to go straight through Zambia to
Malawi for a week or so, then south and west through Zimbabwe to meet Matt
in Bulawayo on Dec. 14. We'd proceed from there to Vic Falls, then back
across Zim to Mozambique for some tropical vacationing. My Malawi plan is
VERY aggressive in that it covers some serious distance (look at the map).
By my calculations it'd take 4 days and 3 nights to get there from Divundu.
But I really really want to go to Malawi for a whole bunch of reasons.

Anyway, the exam schedule puts Science on Nov. 19 and Math on Dec. 3! This,
my friends, is bad for 2 reasons. 1. It'll only take me 2 days to mark the
science exams, which means from Nov. 22 to Dec. 3 I have nothing, repeat,
absolutely NOTHING to do. That is 11 days. During that time I would help
invigilate the other exams, but that's just sitting in a room. 2. After
finishing marking the math exam, around Dec. 5, I would not have enough time
to get to Malawi and back in time for Matt's arrival. This means spinning
my wheels in the part of Zimbabwe that Matt and I will likely cover when he
comes.

Reason #1 is by far the more troubling issue, but #2 is certainly
bothersome.

I talked to my principal in hopes that the schedule could be changed, but
it's a regional thing so that's not possible. He however, seemed to think
it was no big deal. He said so long as my paperwork was in order, I could
go whenever and he and the other lower level math teacher would mark my
grade 9s.

Herein lays my turmoil. I *could* leave around Nov. 27, avoid the 11 days
of staring at a wall, and realistically follow through with my travel plans.
But: 1. I won't be here for the kids when they take the exam. 2. I won't
be able to oversee calculator distribution. 3. I won't mark their tests,
someone else will who doesn't know what or how I've taught them so the
grades will likely be lower. 4. I won't get to know how they ultimately
did. (Though I could have copies of their scores and who got promoted
mailed to me.)

No one that I've talked to thus far thinks I should or have to stay, and
that includes a Namibian teacher, my principal, another volunteer, my new
friends at a nearby lodge and the WorldTeach assistant field director. But
I feel like a selfish jerk. I mean on one hand I'm here, I've done
everything I know how to do, have endured all kinds of crazy to help and
it's my sanity and desire to have a bit of fun and travel on the line. On
the other hand, I feel like I should see it through to the bitter end and
just deal with the boredom and travel restrictions for the sake of the kids.
But how much is it really going to matter in the end?

I don't have the answer right now. Every time I sit down and think about
it, I ultimately end up thinking I should go with my original plan. But I
can't help the bowling ball that sits in my chest as I arrive at that
conclusion.

Feel free to chime in, but please be gentle with me.

Wow, I've adapted

As I type a goat is being skinned outside my window in my backyard. It was
killed just a little bit ago when I was eating, actually, but I didn't
notice. I only noticed the lack of naying. I can hear the sawing sounds
though - they're using a very dull, serrated knife.

A teacher was wasted at school today too. Not that this is the norm, but I
have seen it happen a couple of other times - same guy. This time I
reported it to the Principal and he was given a warning. I wish he could be
fired. This guy is terrible.

But let's move onto some good news shall we? Monday night I hosted my 3
learners of the year from my grade 10s for dinner. Shades of the evening
felt like I a scene from back home (except I was only ever a guest at dinner
parties, not the host!) Italian was on the menu :-) Simple pasta, but I
beefed up the sauce with, well, beef, tons of veggies, whole tomatoes,
spices, onion and garlic. Unfortunately my pot is quite small and I've only
ever made pasta for myself here, so I didn't take into account the
stick-together-factor of a lot of pasta cooking, but what can you do... I
got a little dressed up in my new shirt and hair sticks from Matt and my one
pair of dressy earrings. I had the ipod going playing peppy music while
cooking, then Café Del Mar for dinner.

I asked that the kids bring chairs and forks, as I didn't have enough of
either. So around 6:45, Alex, Edmund and Oberia came over. I had one
request for the evening - English only. We ate and talked some, though the
conversation was lighter than I'd hoped. I tried to find out more from them
about their lives in the past, now and in the future. Edmund wants to be a
scientist and was interested in finding out what kind of science he should
look into. (I recommend food/agriculture or energy). Alex wants to be a
psychologist because he likes figuring out what is going on with people.
Oberia was pretty quiet all evening (possibly because I said her boyfriend
couldn't tag along), but she said she wanted to be a teacher.

We finished up with German Christmas Chocolate for dessert that some very
lovely German tourists gave me a few weeks ago, and a huge monkey fruit. I
presented them with their suuuppper fancy certificates and their framed
pictures of us together. On the back of each picture, I wrote a personal
note. I still want to write a letter of recommendation for each of them. I
want so badly for them to realize their potential.

In other news, did I tell you all what I figured out to do with my grade 8's
the rest of the time? I put together a big crossword puzzle on electricity
to help them review that topic. They're in teams of 2 because by themselves
I don't think they could complete it. I'm only allowing them to work on it
in class and I made up 5 different ones so there would be no cheating. This
is going to take around 3 days. Then, starting sometime next week, we're
going to start playing jeopardy reviewing all the topics from the year. I
think I have to have 6 teams in each class. It'll probably take a full day
just to get them understanding what's going on, and then likely a week to
finish. But that's fun right? Better than just writing out a study guide?
Then they'll have one more test from me and wallah, it'll be exam time.

Night all.

Prayers and Exams

This morning I was up for giving the morning devotion. We have an assembly
every Monday and Friday and a staff member is meant to give some sort of a
prayer/scripture reading. I'm not religious, you see. I believe there's
something more than just silly ole us, but I'm pretty much anti-religion,
and hesitate to make references to Jesus, Heavenly Father, etc. etc.
Buuuttt, I had to say something....
So my "prayer" was along the lines of:
None of us knows the paths our lives will take, where we will be 5, 10 years
from now. But we do have today, and in this day it is important to make
good decisions - know right from wrong, strive to become better people,
learn all that we can, be respectful, etc. So today let us all have the
strength to do be the best we can be.
Unfortunately I was a tad more eloquent in typing it just now. I sort of
fumbled around the not necessarily bowing our heads thing, plus, everyone
was soooo attentive that it kind of spooked me a little. But that was that.

Today was also a culmination of sorts, as it was the Mathematics exam for my
Grade 10's. I ran around like a nut distributing calculators and pencils
and writing "YOU CAN DO IT" on the board in 3 classrooms. Part 1 lasts only
an hour. I whipped through it in about 10 minutes. Unfortunately so did a
few learners. Their answer sheet consisted of miscellaneous numbers
scrawled across the page. James, if you're reading this, I'm referring to
Kativa from 10B, surprise! A few questions were kinda cruel. Surface Area?
Really? How many of you could calculate the surface area of a matchbox?
Volume OK, but Surface Area? And a probability problem where the
probability is given, so find the number of red balls in the bag. Why
couldn't they have just written a straightforward find the probability
question?

It was well-written, I have to say, and a very well-rounded test for
well-educated, English-speaking students. But my kids...sigh.

It was the same for Part 2, which technically lasts 2 hours. Some were done
after an hour, most after 1.5 hrs. But of those that finished early, I knew
they had written nonsense. I did it in 20, but there were 2 questions
actually that gave me pause, and 1 I couldn't do at all because I didn't
know what the value of a hectre was. How freakin random!? The rest, again,
was a pretty good test of overall math comprehension and ability...if you
could read English very well. Example: Box A contains x cookies. Box B
has 5 cookies less than Box A. Box C has twice as many cookies as Box A.
a. Write down, in terms of x, the number of cookies in Box B and C. b. The
total number of cookies is 55. Write an equation and solve for x to find
the number of cookies in Box A.

Now, for those playing at home, imagine this was written in Spanish...a
language you've all had about 2 solid years of instruction in.

I glanced at the answer books for some of the kids, and I'm guessing that
maybe only a handful will pass the exam with a 30% or higher. I think on
the whole everyone will get more points than they did in August, but it
won't be enough.

I am proud to say that just about everyone (save the
finish-in-10-minutes-ers) seems to have gotten the Trig problems right!
That, I am proud to say was my doing! :-)

Ok, off to see about a cold shower to cool off and strip off a few layers of
sweat...then to make dinner for my 3 learners of the year.

Chuckle

I'm in the middle of my first delivery truck hitch hike, going to rundu. It's one step down from an 18wheeler. There is old fashion country music on. I recognize Dolly Parton sometimes. Some is very christian (makes me think of my nashville friends and my dad and grandpa). The namibian driver is singing along. The relief driver is crashed out in the back. It is 95 degrees out, definitely more in the sun. We are crawling at 90km. Im trading texts with rachel planning where to eat for both dinner tonight and breakfast tmrw. And making this blogpost on my cellphone. It is just one of those chuckle moments ya know?

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Book Recommendation: Three Cups of Tea

Just finished a fantastic book and I can't recommend it enough: Three Cups
of Tea by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin. It's about a retired
mountain climber who decides to start building schools in the most remote
regions of Pakistan and Afghanistan, primarily for girls. An incredible,
yet very recent tale (starting in 1993), I can't count the number of times I
teared up with inspiration.

Update (Nov 2014): Unfortunately this book has been exposed by Jon Krakauer to be full of blatant lies. Very very disappointing. Funds have been squandered and very little has been delivered on successfully. :-(

One of the many things about this book that struck me was how desperate the
children were to learn. They would sit outside in the cold, huddled
together for warmth, without a teacher, pouring over an addition problem
scratched in the dirt.
Today I had to repeatedly wake up a handful of learners in my class - even
when it was a fairly interesting class (sigh, grade 8). I find myself
wondering several things...At Greg Mortenson's schools, a few years after
they've been built, do all the kids still relish the opportunity of an
education? Or is it just the way of *some* kids everywhere to just flat out
not care, so long as they themselves didn't have to fight for their
schooling? Why is it that in some areas, even when parents are not
educated, they are still able to instill the value of education in their
children? What's going on here in Namibia? If I had to guess, I'd say 25%
or maybe 20% of the learners here give a damn. As I type, I realize that
this is probably true in most countries. And Mark M. will be quick to point
out that I excelled in the system of education so it's hard for me to see
many other paths. But education aside, A's, B's, bah...aren't people
naturally curious about things? Don't folks get bored staring off into
space for hours on end or just sleeping days away? Bleh, but I guess if
they only understand every 10th word out of my mouth that changes the game
quite a bit. The 20-25% are who I'm here for, and the odd random that I can
get through to. I know that. Alright, I'm rambling.
.......Regardless, read the book. You'll love it.

Health, Teams, Calculators, and Kinda Down...

I'm happy to report that I'm back to 100% health-wise. I'm still not
entirely convinced it was malaria. It seems like I got off too easy. But
eh, whatevs. I'm better now and that's what matters.

The team competition has ended for the Grade 10's. In fact, everything has
ended for them. Their exams start Tuesday morning, Oct. 6 and go through
Oct. 26, though they have some breaks in between. The poor dears are just
wiped. Anyway, I didn't have the heart to only reward the 1st place teams,
so I also awarded 2nd and 3rd place, plus pencils + erasers for the rest of
the learners who didn't place. I agonized over the 1st, 2nd and 3rd place
prizes though, as that amounts to 15-17 learners per class, or 30-34. I
settled on the picture idea. Many have asked me about printing photos, so I
decided 1st place would each get a picture of me and the team, plus any
other picture of their choosing. And 2nd and 3rd place would just get team
shots. (Not framed though, that's reserved for Learner of the Year). Plus
everyone got pens/mechanical pencils for the upcoming exams. Anyway, I was
worried sick that they wouldn't think it was a good enough prize. But, the
cheers were overwhelming. Whew!

The grade 9 team thing is where things are really sailing along smoothly. I
only wish I'd started it when I got here. All in all I'd say the scores are
a shade higher. There's one kid in particular I'm just thrilled with. I'd
all but written him off last term. He was all attitude, dodged class most
of the time, etc. But now he's totally trying, paying attention, etc. Yay!
I don't think the captains quite get the concept that when someone is
absent, they have to catch them up, or the absent one realizing he should
rely on his team, but baby steps I guess.

The 45 calculators arrived and I was able to purchase 180 triple A batteries
last weekend. 43 are working, which brings our school total to 58. Whoo
hoo! My ideas about giving to the top majority of the class, however, may
not play out so well. Turns out that in grades 11 and 12 they can choose
their subjects, and many aren't likely to focus on math or science. (This
is coming from my principal). I told him my concerns about having a
calculator pool at the school - i.e., someone would have to ensure both
their care AND their use (not sitting in a box). I think I'm still going to
give some to the top-top learners. But the pool idea is growing on me,
especially because the math department head is very responsible.

And my mood hasn't been the best lately. I found out today that I won't be
marking the grade 10 exams. Not that this is a bad thing, work-wise, but
I'm not going to get to see how they did. They get sent off to Windhoek for
grading. And worse, their results, along with who gets promoted or not,
don't come back till December! And I'll be long gone by then. I'm going to
talk to the principal about texting the names of those promoted to someone
who is staying in Namibia who can email me. I've just got to know.

I'm about a week away from being finished with material for my grade 8
science classes. I'm trying my HARDEST to make electricity interesting for
them. I cart my one circuit around from table to table showing them. I
have the learners stand up and pretend to be lightbulbs or batteries and I
tie them together with string. But I imagine I just sound like that Charlie
Brown teacher to them. I was sitting in a meeting today that was all in
Thimbukushu, and I imagined that I was feeling exactly like they do. My
eyes started to glaze, my mind wandering...
Anyway, once I finish up with electricity, I've got nothing left. I could
backtrack, but I purposefully took forever and a day correcting the August
exam which was reviewing the old material. AaGGHHAAAHH! What now!? I have
a whole month left!!!??

So starting Tuesday I've got 22 classes a week, down from 32. I'm sure for
a week the lull will be nice, but after that, eesh. I did start reading war
and peace before a few more interesting books crossed my path. It wasn't
that bad. Maybe I'll get through it. Jenni is sending knitting projects.
Sigh.

A teacher just came and asked me for "prizes" for his quiz competition he's
having this weekend. So that's awesome.

I'm inviting my 3 Learner of the Years from Grade 10 over for dinner next
week. They don't know it yet. Two of them are sitting in my office as I
type. I can't wait. (I couldn't decide between 2 in one of the classes, so
I'm going with both.)

So there are little specks of sunshine I suppose, but the grade 8 thing is
really gnawing at me.